Digital dating apps have brought new terms to the fore, but what do they mean?
Danielle Sukenik, instructor in psychiatry at the School of Medicine at the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus, explores these.
Danielle Sukenik is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 12 years of clinical experience based in Denver, Colorado at the Anschutz Medical Campus. Danielle specializes in working with healthcare providers in training and scientists to aid in addressing difficult life transitions, anxiety, trauma, and relationship challenges. She is passionate about supporting others in reaching their highest potential, finding their own solutions, and living a life aligned with what matters most through a variety of different therapy modalities and interventions.
The Impact of Digital Dating Patterns on Mental Health
Have you been ghosted? Beadcrumbed? Are you being orbited? These are a few dating patterns often discussed on media platforms. What do they mean and what is their impact on mental health?
Over recent years, the use of digital dating apps has become quite commonplace with over 50% of Americans under 30 reporting use of these apps. Nearly 70% of individuals who met someone on a dating app said it led to an exclusive, romantic relationship. While this indicates some success, 28% report it did not and many experience frustrating, difficult dissolution strategies that have an impact on mental health.
Ghosting is an exit strategy characterized by a sudden disruption in a relationship without explanation, while orbiting is similar though individuals remain connected on social media. When these two “strategies” were compared with outright rejection, it was found those who experienced ghosting and orbiting had stronger feelings of exclusion and sense of belonging, self-esteem and control were threatened.
Breadcrumbing occurs when someone leaves “morsels” of attention to keep the other person interested without intention of creating a meaningful relationship. In addition to feelings of ostracism and exclusion, increased feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and lower life satisfaction have been reported.
People prefer being rejected over ostracized. It can be difficult to tolerate the uncertainty of why a relationship has ended, leaving confusion and possible psychological wounds in place.
There are many different reasons why someone engages in these strategies, such as poor communication skills and avoidant patterns. Those impacted can practice a variety of approaches to support themselves such as being mindful of the narratives they engage in to make sense of the loss as well as connecting to what’s most important in order to support wellbeing and creating a meaningful life.
Read More:
[The Conversation]- Ghosted, orbited, breadcrumbed? A Psychotherapist breaks down some perils of digital dating and how to cope
[CU Anschutz]- Online Dating: How to Make a Search for Love Work for You
[Cyber Psychology]- Relationship dissolution strategies: Comparing the psychological consequences of ghosting, orbiting, and rejection
[Pew Research Center]- Key findings about online dating in the US
